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My Husband’s Funeral

by Coach Debbie

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My husband never cried at funerals.  When I asked him why, he responded, “Why would I cry?  Death is the best thing that can happen to someone.”  I never repeated that phrase until I spoke at his funeral in 2012.

When I planned Aaron’s funeral, I wanted it to be done as he would’ve wanted.  He would’ve wanted the Good News proclaimed; so I made sure our pastor told the hundreds of respect-payers the Truth of God’s love.  Aaron told me over the years that he wanted bagpipes played and for everyone to celebrate.  He knew his eternal destination.  I told him during those conversations, thinking he’d be 99 when that dreadful day arrived, there would only be a party for 1 as the rest of us on earth mourned him being gone.  God did not consult me because it is His universe.  And so there were bagpipes.  I tear up as I remember entering the sanctuary holding the hands of my fatherless children.

Is death the best thing that can happen to someone?  If you love Jesus in a real way, then yes.  I find it interesting that when Jesus one day returns and satan is overthrown, the last thing to be conquered will not be “sin” but “death.”

Death is brutal.  I still shake my head that our 4 little boys had to stand at their daddy’s casket.  And yet, it has been a rich privilege to share with them the Truth of heaven.  They get to know all about the glory of God unlike other children who have not faced such loss.  Sometimes we talk about what Daddy might be doing at that very minute; is he kayaking?  Is he raising his hands high in praise as he adores Jesus?  Is he telling Moses and Noah about his awesome children?

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Colossians 3  gives us the how-to:  “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated….Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (vv 2-3)

  • “For you died”—as believers our old nature is nonexistent
  • “You have been raised with Christ”—because of Jesus’ work on the cross, we are a new creation; His beloved bride
  • “Set your heart on things above”—be obsessed with all-things-God, all things eternal; instead of focusing on the petty problems of the here and now, we focus on Him and His will


The day my husband was found, I had a silent conversation with Jesus.  Knowing that in that exact moment in time my husband was able to see the face of God, I told Jesus that I would cling to Him.  I told Him that He knew this day would occur and allowed it.  I told Him that I trust Him and would need Him fiercely.  Are you talking with God?  Are you surrendering a whole lot of STUFF that only He can handle?  Are you putting your proverbial money where your mouth is?

So I set my heart on things above.  Because “Christ is all, and is in all” (Col 3:11b).  I have much to be thankful for; we all do.  It is a daily decision we must choose to make.  God is the lifter of our head, our Defender, our Provider.  Are you thanking Him daily?  Are you focusing on your blessings?

God, we are all on a divine countdown.  May we spend each day loving you more and making you known.  Thanks for not allowing us to be The Boss because we would just screw everything up.  Amen.



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